Kindergarten and school: how to talk with teachers about a child’s characteristics

What to tell the caregiver or teacher and how to turn a conversation about difficulties into a joint search for solutions.

Parents know the child well at home, while the teacher sees them in a completely different environment. Therefore, cooperation between the family and the educational institution can give both sides information that they simply do not have separately.

It is better to start the conversation not with a list of problems, but with an explanation of what helps a particular child.

Tell the most important things

The teacher does not need to know the entire history of examinations and consultations right away. Start with practical information:

• how the child communicates their needs;
• what can cause severe stress;
• how they react to noise and a large number of people;
• how easily they switch between activities;
• what helps them calm down;
• which instructions they understand best.

For example, instead of "it is hard for them to change activities," it is more useful to explain: "It is easier for them to finish the activity if they are warned in advance that in a few minutes we will move on to the next one."

Ask, don’t just tell

Behavior at home and at school can differ significantly. Ask the teacher in what situations difficulties arise, what happened immediately before them, and which solutions have already been tried.

Sometimes the problem is found not at all where the parents expected it.

Agree on specific actions

After the conversation, it should be clear what the family and the teacher will try to change. It is better to choose several realistic actions than to make a huge list of recommendations.

After some time, you can meet again and discuss the result: what helped, what did not work, and what is worth trying differently.

The purpose of such a conversation is not to prove who understands the child better. Parents and teachers see different parts of their life. By bringing these observations together, it is much easier to find a suitable solution.